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urkissmightkillme8385
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Name: Bernardo
Birthday: 8/3/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Cigarettes. Coffee. red nailpolish. Antique broches. Big plastic jewelry, preferably pink. Modern art. Pointy fucking shoes. Mac LipGlass. Vintage designer bags.writing to put me to sleep. polka dots. Dashboard Confessional, Something Corporate,Dave Matthews Band,Taking Back Sunday,Billy Joel,The cars,New Found Glory,Weezer,John Mayer,Jack Johnson, Frank Sinatra,Mae,Saves the Day,The Gettup Kids,BrandNew,Elton John,The Beatles,James Taylor,Counting Crows, AlkalineTrio,Queen,Bowie,The Postal Service,Incubus, Ben Folds (Five),The Ataris,The Strokes, Josh Groban, Blondie,The Eagles,Green Day, India Arie, Kenny Chesney, Eve, Hot Rod Circuit, Piebald, Nat King cole,Louis Armstrong, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Guns and Roses, Boston,Thursday, Bright eyes,Beach Boys,Jay-Z, The Roots,Sublime, Fleetwood Mac, The Who, LeeAnn Rimes,Pink Floyd,Say Anything, Reggie And The Full Effect, Copeland, Further Seems Forever, The Used, My Chemical Romance, HelloGoodbye,Straylight Run, Funeral For a Freind, De
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/10/2003
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| - ok so i have moved into a new apartment since my last entry and i just finished moving all of my stuff into my room and i have a bed!!!oh the extreme excitement. While watching Jay Leno tonight because i only get like two channels, I caught a glimpse of possibly the most ridiculous thing ive ever witnessed, it was kenny g., covering the Outkast song, I like the Way you move...thats 5 minutes of my life i wish i had back. But its late now and kristen and i went to wawa and while in the store i realized i have weird habits that i should maybe try not to do, especially in public.... for instance, i like to stand with my one foot up on my knee and just balance with my one foot, much like a flamingo. Anyway, while on line at the wawa there was a very threatening looking gang of poppy punk boys there as well as sandwches and mediocre salads, and all of the boys were the same like little carbon copies of each other which made me think... its funny how all poppy punk kids follow a very strict dresscode full of things that are just expected to be alternative. which brings me to the top 5 list for today:
The top five cliches seen on poppy punk kids.......... and SHOOT! :
5. Shaggy hair/ bangs that often cover one or if your extremely lucky both eyes: ok for obvious reasons this could be hazardous in situations where one would utilize eyesight, which is pretty much every situation. I mean if you wanna be blind, i could help you out... i could use many hot objects to help burn your retinas, but generally shaggy haired, long banged individuals aren't loking for permanent blindness, just temporary blindness, enought to piss off their parents, and fellow drivers who fear for their lives due to this intrusive haristyle. Another problem with the shaggy hair is that because its all in the face/ forehead area, even when it's clean the hair still looks greasy. So I have to reluctantly say that although its cute on boys in an emo sort of way, i have to voice my oppositions to this poppy punk staple, even though at times my bangs can get rather eye disabling as well.
4. Band hoodies: i love my music as much as the next person, thats why i listen to it, but the band hoody has taken music appreciation to a new level, now you can base friendships upon the band logo that is screenprinted onto someone elses sweatshirt. The hoodies are usually black or navy and are complete with a sensitively drawn logo or image that generally has to do with nature, like some trees or a little meek flower growing through a side walk, they more than often feature anatomy, like a detailed drawing of a heart or rib cage, or the logo is large and bold like a cityscape or silhouette of the band members. However, if your really lucky, you can snag a quick peek of a patch as opposed to the more graphic, silk screened image, its usually discreetly placed somewhere on the shirt and the patch tends to be the same color as the hoodie, as to camoflage the cool patch that was pretty much the basis for purchasing that shirt. Its the people with the patches on their hoodies that are the real music snobs, mainly because if they think they are too cool for the traditional method of screen printing, they probably think they are too cool to except anyone elses view on music. And why cant i ever find the patches easily? what do the patch wearers have to hide?
3.Studded belts: i love studded belts, there are so many different colors, and variations of one belt. they are infinitely functional, they hold up the pants you are wearing and help you think that youre a bad ass, especially if its the really heavy black or white ones. The thing i hate about studded belts is when people remove certain studs to spell the stupidist shit they could ever put in close proximity to their ass. Like please, can i see your studded belt that says "fuck" right above your ass.
2. Alternative sneakers: its true. everyperson whos ever listened to a form of punk music whether its simple plan (me vomitting) or Saves the Day, will wear some sort of alternative sneak whether its a pair of New Balance, Converse, Saucony, Roos, or one of the numerous brands of skating shoes. Usually in a neutral color like tan, brown, gray, black, if youre a boy, if your a girl, the brighter the better. "im sorry you do you have those in high lighter yellow?" I dont understand is there a poppy punk bible that says you are absolutely excommunicated if you are ever seen with reebok, adidas, or nike shoes on? I mean converse are not even comfortable they you give you blisters on your toes the size of christ.
Dropping it like its hot...................
1. Knitted skull caps with a brim: Every boy i have met at art school or in doylestown... (you know who you are), has one, or is wearing one as you read this. I dont care wear you got it , or how much it cost, quality, color etc.... make up your fucking mind. Do you wanna keep your head warm with a knitted skull cap or shed your retinas from the uv rays with a baseball cap.. cause if thats your goal just get some shaggy hair or long bangs(see numebr 5) The hat is ridiculous looking because the brim is like a half inch long. I do not like this new hybrid breed of headware.
On a side note another cliche although not visible among poppy punk people, is vegetarianism/veganism. I dont care if you are or aren't you either have a million friends that are, or have contemplated how much you care about the welfare of animals, how theyre kept until their slaughtering time, the way they are slaughered... . blah blah blah. | | |
| - The Razor -
Ok so yeah I havent really xanga-ed in a while but I felt it was time...I was inspired by the shitty weather and the lack of exciting things to do. I've had a good time since the last entry, I just went to syracuse and had a very fun time, i watched two almost grown men have a little too much fun with a beef stick, or log if you ask tom... apparently its girth was too much for the "stick" status. Paul was blinded by some high quality $2.50 faux champagne...and some beer again, thanks to tom. It was wholesome, face numbing fun.but then I came home and did nothing. And now its fuckin cold as a witch's tit, (courtesy of megan, its an expression I never understood at that) and raining alot, maybe I should build an ark, however the weather and frigidness has brought me to my top 5 for this entry.....could someone please get hype?...........................
The top five reasons that winter sucks cock.
#5.Mild Depression/Cabin fever: Ok maybe I'm just crazy, which is completely possible, but I have that seasonal disorder. I get so pissed off at everyone... and whereas i'm a bitch all year long, I'm an ultra bitch in the winter.. I'm always cranky and sluggish or something. This leads me to stay in and do absolutely nothing but watch lifetime movies about men hunting down their abused wives and shooting them, or play online word games at 2 in the morning until there are smoldering holes where my eyes once were. Say what you will, but I can do a crossword puzzle in like 5 minutes, clearly a valuable asset in my everyday life. I never understood cabin fever until I spent three hours playing book worm. And when I say cabin fever i dont mean the movie....no one is trying to finger me while I'm deep in slumber, my leg is not corroding, and i have no dog named doctor mambs.
#4.Multiple Layers: Try and dress cute in the winter, I dare you. Its fuckin like 4 degrees out and all you can do is layer, adding about 9,000 pounds to anyone's frame. If I was supposed to look like a tick about to burst i would just gain 40 pounds.. but i don't which means it should stop being cold so we can dress normal again....there are just to many things you need to wear to stay warm...gloves, scarves, hats, i dont know.. snow pants...? I think coats should just cover every inch of your body, except your eyes.. maybe the Afghanis were onto something with that burqa idea.... anyone?
#3.Not being able to hang out outside/ swim: ok I dont really like to swim I just took this opprotunity to poke fun at the 5 year old that thinks its funny to rub the fact that hes swimming at 9 am and taking pictures with ariel in disney world in my face. Yeah I'm jealous, but I personally like Jasmine a little more than that half fish bitch. I really do hate the fact that I cant go outside with out becoming an ice cube.I walk five feet from my car to the store and my eyes are watering with the fucking noreaster winds. Also you cant just hang out outside you know if seating in someones basement is limited or if your being too loud....nope not in the winter, you either have to stand or be hated by parents eveywhere. Its just not fair.
#2. Smoking issues: Care to step out for a cigarette? Not unless you enjoy being thawed out afterward. I need my nicotine, it keeps me sane, but in the winter I am forced to go crazy because, a.)I dont like smoking by myself and noone in their right mind willl go out to the tundra just for cancer, and b.) I dont even want to go out half the time so i am forced to find excuses to go to places smoking is allowed indoors... hence my diner dependancy. So I decide maybe I will smoke in my car... yeah, no.... not so much. I crack the window and blast the heat but my hand is decrepid, black, and breaking off after five seconds of this plan of action. I kinda like my hands, they generally prove to be useful.
And.......Psych yourself out... the number 1 reason is..........................
#1: Crunchy Grass: Ok this may also sound weird, but i feel like fuckin bruce willis from Die Hard when I stroll through someone's lawn to get to their door and its like walking over glass. My grass should be flexible, what if i wanted to frolick? or roll down a lush green hill... not in the winter unless you want to be stabbed by a million tiny little blades. They are like fuckin little strips of tortilla chips, ya know the kind on those festive salads you can purchase at any franchised restaurant chain...ps they dont make salads taste better, they just cut up your mouth, and i certainly dont like walking on them, im not festive, and neither should my grass be. | | |
| - - - Ok so since my last entry school has blown into full force. my jewelry class is one sweet piece of ass and psych and art history, my two academic classes, well i fall asleep in them but whatever theyre still not by anymeans bad. My painting class however is like a nightmare. its a complete waste of 5 hours a week, not because i hate to paint or because its boring but more because my painting teacher is the fourth horsemen of the fucking apocolypse. i'm convinced that when i am not looking at him, he is eating little children or blowing fire from his eye sockets.but other than that school is okay. I met a new friend named Dani, and she is super nice, but anyway we were talking, and she brought up halloween costumes and how she has decided to be betty boop, so that topic of conversation, and the quickly approaching autumnal festivities have birthed a new top five. so here it is kids, my top 5 favorite halloween costume ideas.....
5. Mia from pulp fiction: ok yes i am somewhat biased because alison is the one who thought this up, but none the less its not just her wearing black, smoking a cigarette and donning a short, straight, black haired wig, that would be too common place for alison, but she said that the portrayal of uma thurman's character would not be complete unless she also had blood coming from her nose, and was in fact foaming at the mouth, but in true alison fashion she also took the costume suggestion to the next level by saying the blood and foam should mix, and she could carry around a dollar bill, some confectioners sugar, and a mirror to complete the "i just snorted heroine" look. My expectation is that the costume is much nicer in theory, But a captain idea regardless.
4. The key trio of characters from the best science show ever...Beakmans world.: ok u may all recall the other science show geared for pre teens at home on saturdays.. bill Nye?.. well Beakmans world was like that, only funkier with brighter colors and bigger hair. Now granted u need 3 people for this, kristin alison and i could easily pull this one off cause there are in fact 3 of us. Kristin has volunteered to be Lester the mouse who was really just a big, crude rodent which for me triggers pretty much every fear i have, which may possibly be why she volunteeered for that part, just to give me a fright. I want to be josie because she wears all of the trends from the early to mid 90's and her hair is always teased to the size of christ. And alison can be Beakman, or the ringleader so to speak. Her hair couild adapt so easily to the electrocuted, bride of frankenstein look that she was a no brainer for Beakman. But anyway our trio could greet the trick or treaters with a science lesson, and they wouldn't able to get candy until they solved some difficult chem lab. ok, not realistic, but i can hypothesize can't i?
3. A tumor: When we first went back to school, Anton told me he wanted to be a tumor. What i can i say to that? its fucking genius! he is going to piggy back ride on someones back covered by a huge shirt to cover both of them....with just his head popping out the same head hole as his host. Its so clever... oh anton u parasitical bitch.
2. Boston John's "letter": Ok the idea was to make himself an envelope, which turned out to be a huge cardboard box which was covered in duck tape because everyone knows envelopes are pewter colored and oddly shiny. Anyway his limbs just stuck out of this box, and on the front it looked like a letter, and where the sending address belong , it simply read "From: God To : Women" and listed his dorm number. it was hysterical. It was so effective. And funny as hell. Kudos to Boston.
and the number halloween costume is......
1. The fake painting smile: Ok this costume was a collabrative effort between Joseph, Brandon and beer. In passing i asked joe if he wanted to go see my painting..seeing as how we were catti-corner to the painting studio, little did i know that i would be scarred for the rest of my life. if i had predicted i would see anyone im friends with make a face that frightening i would have never asked. A simple yes or no would have sufficed, but intead he said, "no, then i would have to pretend i liked it, and do the fake painting smile.." he then went on to demonstrate this generic smile in conjunction with a slew of artistic comments such as, " i like these leading lines...(smile)" or "I really like the shading you did here.. (smile)" or "these contour lines are really sweet......(smile)." The Smile was so strikingly "i eat children"- looking that brandon said we should take a picture and print them out to wear for halloween. that brandon, hes an idea man...its brilliant, and for some reason i find it more funny if we were to wear them on a day that is not in fact halloween. Multiple reproductions of joes face.....exactly what the world needs...... | | |
| - ok hi bitches. everyone has gone back to school but so have i and it so far is better than last year but still not enjoyable hopefully it will be.im in a top 5 rut yeah i ve got some ideas but none are good enough. i was put on the spot and told to make a top 5 reasons why beer is jesus...and i was told to make a top 5 reasons why i should go fuck myself but im not really feelin either of those especially the latter.. that was a suggestion by disgruntled individual....and you know who u are. I have been watching alot of digital cable recently thanks to kristen and her lovely roomates. And with the digital cable comes the channel Gas which i believes stands for games and sports, its a nickelodeoen game show channel... so in light of this i figure, why not make a top 5 about my new favorite channel.
Top 5 best gas shows aaaaaaand.....go.
#5. Double Dare:ok many people have told me that they hate double dare but i honestly love to watch little kids with such high hopes of winning prizes like nestle quick and bk high tops fail miserably at running through over sized sundaes to find a flag. i love the dissapointment in every kids face when they realize they won sneakers for being rolled through large foam rollersinto a baby pool filled with slime. And Mark summers, the host is crazy, he cleearly does not want to be there, however he signs on for what would u do after double dare fizzles, stupid man.
#4. Get the Picture: a game very few remember, dealing with teams of two and a large screen which when u answered a question right would reveal one sqaure of the picture.if u guess the picture u get extra points.Sometimes the contestants answers get digitally altered and they all sound like androids, its the fuckin highlight of the show. At the end they show the players 9 pictures and then thepictures go blank and on a large ridiculously sized phone key pad they have to remember each square and match it with the riddle asked by our fave host Mike o Malley. I can remember thinking that the conetestants must have been doing acid at the impressionably young age of 8 because their memories always sucked.
#3 Nick Arcade: Ive never been one for video games, but this show was great. you answer questions, and get to go inside the arcade games and beat the level. its like a virtual reality type of scenario. At the end u had to go into the big level and defeat the evil villain in the palace. i loved when they played pac man and donkey kong. if i was on that show i could have kicked some sweet ass.
#2. Legends of the hidden Temple: i dont even have to explain this... its just a masterpiece. ok the show is co-host by a giant rock face...literally.. he answers to the name of olmac and enjoys telling semi- fictional stories abut historic objects which he then hides in his hidden temple. although the temple, being the largest piece of the set.. is not that hidden, they started with a bunch of teams, many of them being different colors, and named so that the color and animal formed a solid example of alliteration although that is not entirely true, some of them just got short changed... my advice to nick.. either stick with the alliteration idea or abandon it, but u cant have it both ways.. there was the purple parrots, the orange iguanas, the blue barricudas. the red jaguars, the silver snakes, and the green monkeys... they did physical challenges after they answered questions to obtain whole or half penants of life. That just seems wrong to me its like well if u get captured by the temple guard u can almost get away with it but because a half penant will get u nowhere... its kinda just so olmac and the obscure host can get their jollies on while u'r being molested, and chloroformed by the scantily- clad temple guard. Once they went through the rooms having to put snakes into a fake medusa head , and piecing together silver monkey body pieces...if they found the legendary object, they then had to get out. isnt that a little extreme? i mean its not enough that they retrievethe object, they have to run out of this hellish labrynith, and all under two minutes. Honestley the creator of that show wanted nobody to ever win.
aaaaaaaand number 1 isssssssss.........
#1. Guts/Global Guts:ok guts is like american gladiators only for younger people.although it is at times unnerving, its also highly addictive.... imean when i thing about hard drugs to stay away from i think, cocaine, crack, heroine, and guts bitches. ok there were so many events that it stayed interesting.personal fave, the obstacle course... there was a little bit of everything. I couldnt for the life of me understand how in the elstic jungle( a cage of crisscrossed rubber bands) nobody could catch on that if u just army crawled under neath the rubber bands, u wouldnt get stuck. Another highlight of the show was the bios because if it was a girl it would always definitely look like a boy.. honestley who gives their daughter a bowl cut? every bio consisted of essentially the same things. They would say their name followed by a cheesy steven segal- esque nick name. they would then proceed to list the stupidest hobbies one could admit too and they would always try to make themselves sound so bad ass. Example: My name is mike o malley im a loser,....SPILL YOUR GUTS....Hi my name is Tina "the teminator" Talucci in my spare time i like to roller blade, play ice hockey, and stab my sybblings in the kidney. Sometimes i like to eat spaghetti, and i love hanging out with my friends. What? Oh kid... Then ther was Global Guts,and in their bios u wouldnt get the kid talking, you would get the tranlator talking about how the isreali boy plays soccer with rocks and sprints from the palestinians as his hobbies. Anyway all this nonsense just adds up to the major event the AG...RO....CRAG. on the way up this steel monstrosity, the contestants had to hit acutators which made this noise that sounded like a deep voice sayiing G-G-Guts. when three people are setting off actuators simultaneously, it sounds like this... G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Guts G-G-G-G-G-G-Guts...and i loved that they would have weather calamities to veer the players from hitting the actuators, last time i checked falling glitter was not as extreme as a real monsoon, and foam rocks pale in comparison to an avalanche. the winner recieves a piece of the agro crag which i suppose they could use as a night light. guts will always have a special place in my heart, and im sure its partially becuase of Mike o'malley and his co host mo...Mo, back to you. | | |
| - hi.... well ive met a lot of new people since my last entry and all of them have been very enjoyable and fun to be around.there is one boy in particular who i guess ive developed a certain set of feelings for.. what those feelings may be.. your guess is probably as good as mine. I mean hes the kind of person you could see yourself getting along with easily but at the same time i wonder are my feelings more than me just wanting to make out with him? oh well who the hell knows, i certainly dont.... boys are just too confusing to try and analyze your way into their lives, ive decided to stick with what im good at or at least more familiar with...a list u say... fuck yeah bitches...what the hell else would i be talking about?
Ok the list today is...top 5 foods that need to be altered in order for u to wanna eat them.
ok go (no microphone motion, because i learned thats clearly prohibited.)
5. Smores..as directed on the box of every smore ingredient and the cinematic opus The Sandlot.. u sandwich a rectangle of chocolate between two graham cracker squares with a roasted, jet puffed marshmallow. The portions of each ingredient are incorrect.. what u end up with is a dry mouth with not enough chocolate, toomuch graham but the right amount of marshamallow. This can be fixed by adding another rectangle of chocolate and subtracting one graham cracker and u end up with a genius confection i would like to dub the "super smore" i mean how can you want another smore with a mouthful of cracker and a fuckin huge ass mallow? when revised every one will want sum-more ......Your killin me smalls.
4. Tuna Salad: the kind u put in a sandwich. this is such an easy food to fuck up. if u dont drain the can it will taste like fish too much and too much mayo and ull end up throwing up, the balance between remaining can moisture and mayo have to be thought through crucially. Its also a whole nother thought process as to what can be put into the mix, some like sewwt relish others onion.. i personally prefer celery becuse it provides maximum flavor with out over powering the tuna. u also have to rememeber to season that shit because if you dont u get bland flakes of canned protein.
3. Cheese sandwiches. it sounds like an easy enough equation.. cheese, mayo, mustard and some bread. If only things were that simple. u have to go light enough on the cheese so that u get the taste, but not a hunk of fatty, salty, cheese. a thin layer of mayo just for taste and moisture. the mustard is where it gets tricky. the mustard is over powering when used liberally in sandwiches.but who can ever control those squeezy bottles.
2.Peanut Butter and jelly: ok becuase the contents are in thin layers,the sandwich had to be re- balanced, So i would toast the bread and cut it lengthway with a sarated knife so that u get 2 pieces for the price of one. the new thin bread allowed perfect harmony between the flavors letting each component to come into its own.
and the number 1 is bitches.......
1. Tacos(especially form taco bell. i always have to refold tacos for some reason. either they are folded so that shit is falling everywhere which is never acceptable, and other times the bulk of the tortilla is not distributed so that each bite is good, but rather so that one bite has meat cheese tomato, and lettuce, the other bite is just dry tortilla and a shred of lettuce. Thats definitely not what i signed up for. Man, fuck tacos. | | |
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